Monday, May 7, 2012

Ugh! Why?

It never fails.

Let me back up for a moment.  In a rare display of fan friendliness, the company that now owns YOUR Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees says it's open to a name change.  They finally figured out, after years of embarrassingly poor attendance,  that the Yankee name is magic to some, but poison to many others.

The newspapers and radio stations have been soliciting potential new nicknames.

Why do people always suggest "coal crackers" and "miners?"  No matter the time.  No matter the team.  It always comes up.

God bless the miners and all they've done for us, but I have a news flash for you.  The mines are closed. It's been that way for a while.  Generations, in fact.   Mine owners raped the area and scarred the earth.  They cared little for the people who dug the coal.  It's time to move on.  We're not "hard coal" country any more.  Stop that.

I heard "Steamers" kicked about, an ode to Scranton's Steamtown National Historic Site.  I'm luke warm on that.  We built a lot of trains here.  But, when I hear "steamer" I think of Robert Fulton and the Clermont chugging down a river, not trains.  I also think of clams.  The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Clams could work.  The Syracuse Chiefs already have a train as part of their logo.  Maybe we should go in another direction.

Scranton is the Electric City.  How about the "Bolts?"  I sort of like that one, a nice rip off of the San Diego Chargers.  My co-worker, Steve Lloyd, in a similar vein, favors "Lightning."  It's okay, but a little too generic for me.

The state bird is the ruffed grouse.  Pass.  The state toy is the Slinky.  Pass again.

The state fish is the brook trout.  The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Trout.  I can live with that.  Miami has its Marlin.  Scranton/Wilkes-Barre has its trout.

There are horses on the state flag.  Moosic-- the home of the Stallions.  Maybe.  Everybody likes horses.

The state animal is the white tailed deer.  Now, we're getting somewhere.  The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Bucks.  I don't think Dunmore will mind sharing.  Stags?  That's okay with me.

There are a lot of rattle snakes on Montage Mountain.  Snakes scare me.  Veto.

We also have a lot of bear around here.  I can live with the Bears, or the Black Bears.  As I write this, it's my personal favorite.  Kurt Aaron could throw out the first pitch on opening night.

I wouldn't mind seeing the Red Barons return.

And, I saw a list of those cutesy names, playing off our scandal ridden recent past-- things like the Jailbirds, and the Felons.  It's not funny.  It's sad.

Anything but "miners."  Please.